Ice Cream and Coaching

The difference between telling and showing.

Offering someone coaching is like offering my mother ice cream.

Wait for my mother to ask for ice cream. She won't.

Ask her if she wants ice cream, she'll say no.

But when I fill a bowl with ice cream, give my mother a spoon, and put the bowl  in front  of her, she'll say, "Oh, for heaven's sake" and then  proceed to eat every bite.

Same thing with coaching.

I used to wait for people to tell me they wanted coaching. They rarely did.

And then I started tentatively asking people if they wanted coaching (without showing them what coaching meant). They always refused, albeit politely.

But when I invite people to a call, create time just for them, listen deeply, ask questions that get underneath their words, and then reflect back what I'm hearing, people almost always want more coaching by the end. Because they’ve experienced it. Because, like eating ice cream, it's exactly what they wanted but didn't know to ask. Because once they've had a taste, they’re left wanting more.