Mushrooms

Eleven years into my marriage, I discovered my husband didn’t like mushrooms. We had invited friends over for New Years Eve dinner and I spent hours making a fancy beef stew. Sitting down to eat, one of our guests informed me he didn’t like mushrooms and proceeded to pick out every single one from his bowl. 

Rehashing the evening later that night with my husband, I brought up the mushrooms. 

”I don’t really like mushrooms, either,” my husband said casually.

“What?!?” My jaw dropped. This was news to me. My brain went into overdrive as I thought back to all the meals I’d made. “But I put them in everything! I cook them all the time and you always eat them!” 

I was gobsmacked.

“Well, I’ve gotten used to them because you make everything taste delicious,” my husband responded matter of factly. “Also, you’re cooking - I’m not about to tell you what you should and shouldn’t make!”

For years, I’ve told that story as an example of what a great husband Bill is. 

Recently, as I was telling it again, the person I was speaking to had a different reaction. They pointed out it could be a sign my husband didn’t communicate his needs, or that I was oblivious, incurious about my husband’s wants - in short, a sign we had problems.

Sure, that interpretation could be true.

But I choose to be happy in my marriage and I really like my husband. He is kind. He is thoughtful. He’s a deeply good man.

If I didn’t - if he wasn’t - I might be telling that story differently.  

I tell the story with the truth I want to believe. With the truth I want to live in. Not surprisingly, that’s the truth I receive in return.